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Want a tiny pumpkin muffin?

2007-10-18

Good morning Boys and Girls.


So...

A few months ago, good roomie Dot asked me to attend a one-evening class with her sometime off in the future. "Me?" -I thought. "A class?" I was dubious. Didn't sound like me.

But, Dot really thought I'd like it, and she assured me that she'd even pay for it if I'd be willing to go. "Sure. "I said, "knock yourself out. Sign me up."

And, truth be told, that was that - I kind of forgot about it.

Last week sometime, Dot reminded me about it and said it was next Tuesday - meaning the night before last. Unfortunately, when Tuesday came, by the time I got home from work, about the last thing I wanted to do was go attend this class. I'd not slept well the night before and had awaken at 3:00 a.m. and then hadn't been able to get back to sleep - a VERY unusual circumstance for me - and, to make matters worse, work had been hectic all day. I was exhausted.

But...

I'd promised.

So it was that Tuesday evening I found myself sitting in the Freshman Center auditorium of the Rockford High School to watch a lady named Deanna House cook holiday treats and to learn to make some new ones myself...

Oy. I wasn't pleased. I was soooo tired and I knew I'd have trouble staying awake for the two hours, let alone not really being interested in the least in the learning to make the rudimentary recipes as outlined in the little programs we'd been handed as we walked in. Hell, I love to cook, but I've never made many "Holiday Treats," of this sort anyway.

Why, I wondered, had good Dot insisted I'd enjoy this? Oh well, I thought, it's just two hours. I looked at her sitting there next to me, all smiles, SURE I'd get a kick out of what was to come. I can honestly say that, at that minute, I thought she was nuts.

I looked around. No men. None. I stood and looked more closely. Nope. Not one. I did a count... Ten full rows plus a few partially full ones of... let's see... I counted the number of seats in each row. Twenty-four. So, way more than two-hundred and forty women...

...and me.

I'll say it again. Oy.

Dot had asked me to give me her impression of Deanna House when I saw her, and frankly, it was stark and immediate. I saw her and thought, "Why look! It's Robin Williams playing Mrs. Doubtfire!" -which, I think, was exactly what Dot was darn sure I'd think.

What a hoot!

She didn't have the fake English accent, and her hair was shorter, and though she did have a big old-fashioned looking apron on, this was the first time Dot had seen her sans a big frilly dress that, she assured me, added to her "look." Yes, Dot has gone to see this lady any number of times over the years.

Exactly at seven, she took the stage and immediately told us all, with calculated if frantic gestures, that she was extremely worried about finishing all ten recipes before nine.

Early on, Mrs. House made a silly joke about the fact that her husband had brought her and helped her set up all the stuff she needed to cook there on the stage, but then as soon as things were ready to go, he'd disappeared to the McDonald's across the street saying he didn't want to be "in the way," -though she made it quite clear that he'd really left because he simply did not want to stick around and listen to her do her schtick for the zillionth time.

Honestly, I did have trouble staying awake for the first twenty minutes or so until I "won" a sample of the pickled red cabbage she'd just made. Incredible! (Everyone had been given tickets with number on them to facilitate the passing out of samples as door prizes throughout the night.)

The woman was an absolute riot. Funny as can be and quick as... well, how about Robin Williams? Evidently she's a retired Home-Ec teacher who's been doing these "evenings" all around the Midwest for twenty years or more. I can't even remember a single "joke," really, other than the one about her husband, (who did return at some point to wild applause from the crowd when she made fun of him again - which earned her a scowling wave from him, making it clear that her "wit" was not the least bit new to him, and was something he's quite tired of by now, which, of course, was funny in itself.) No, no real jokes. She was just plain... funny! She really enjoys doing what she does, and her effect on the crowd was... Aw hell, it was just plain touching.

Anyway. I just went to her web site at http//www.deannahouse.com and wasn't overly impressed. It looks nice enough, I suppose, but it really gives no clue as to her professionalism and talent, nor her sense of humor. A shame.

All I can say is this: if you ever get a chance to see her, (even if you're going to be the only guy there,) spend an evening with Deanna House. You may or may not learn a darn thing, but you'll laugh a lot. -A fine thing indeed.

Thanks Dot!

 

Be good to everyone.

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