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Roses ARE red.

2007-03-03

Good morning Boys and Girls.

So. About a month ago I clicked on a link to a site called "poetry.com"

"Please enter your poem in our contest."

I thought for a minute and wrote something like,

"Poetry, poetry, Ooo, you're so cool
Saying these rhyming words makes my heart drool
Would that I could, I'd write such every day
Phrasing things just so, in most pleasing ways."

Something like that... Stupid. Inane.

The next day I received an offer to have my poem included in their 2007 book of "America's Greatest Living Poets" where my poem would be featured on two pages. One with my poem and a lengthy bio about me. (For a fee, of course....)

Since that day I've received no less than two emails a day encouraging me to take advantage of the many ways they have to display my genius; in picture frames, lockets... carved and sandblasted onto a national monument... maybe in the Lincoln Memorial just under the Gettysburg Address.

When did attempting to feed peoples' starving egos become a standard business model? It's despicable.



I can't wait till my copy of the book arrives. Best $374.99 I ever spent.

"Would that I could...."  Brilliant, don't you think? Sometimes my talent astounds me.


Be good to everyone.

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surrogate (2007-04-13)
Hah. That's great. I just received my first invitation to a... oh wait I think it's in my car... brb. Damn. Must have tossed it, anyway, it was an invitation to some threeor four days scam being held in Vegas by Poetry.com where "I" am being nominated as "poet of the year." Honest... Oh and if I'd just send them x number of dollars... Probably just a way for a bunch of lonely hearts to go out and get laid under the guise of "Poetry explored in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas."

Witqueen (2007-04-13)
Just thought I'd share the 3 minute poem I tossed out there..and did the same thing..for the joke of it all. When I received my copy, my poem was first in the book, which I was glad I didn't include any personal information. Years later I still get invited to the gathering to win the coveted silver plated bowl o' poetry. Suffice it to say, you only take a joke so far, and when I see the envelope in the mailbox, it goes straight to the trash. This is my untitled poem. I don't like poets, not a one. I was taking a Tickle test, just for fun. To get my score I did my best, To write an epic as a jest. No Homer of the Iliad is me or Yeats or Wadsworth do I be. I'm sure if I relaxed my mind to Jello I might write a poem like that chap Longfellow. But as it is I'm filling up space counting twenty lines of rhyming reasoning and metered pace. So this concludes my little rhyme and I hope somehow it didn't waste your time.

Barnabus (2007-03-03)
Hoho...they somehow picked up a song I once wrote and tried the same thing with me..I gave them permission to publish, but buying no books..Dunno if they really published or not..know they will publish it ..if...u buy the book!!

MsMilano (2007-03-03)
LOL... I'm not laughing at you but at the way you expressed this... you were not the typical angry rather humorously sarcastic... Sorry for the expense you were suckered into laying out. There is a similar thing called the Anthology of Poetry. They do the same thing but to children's parents. Sad indeed.

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